BILLS BILLS BILLS... Who should pay them?
So things are getting serious in your relationship and you’re ready to take the next big step and move in. Congratulations. Whether you’ve decided to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, soon to be spouse, husband or wife.. whatever the case may be, it’s time to talk about money. The most debated topic of our generation seems to be “Should the man pay all the bills?” Rent and utilities included. Before we start, let me just say this… TECHNICALLY there is no right or wrong answer. It all comes down to what works for you and how you were raised.
If you haven’t came across the infamous picture floating around the internet it read: “Rent is $1,200. Utilities are $300. How much should the man pay? Yes they live together.” Some people answered, $775, implying that everything would be split 50/50. Some said $1200, meaning the woman is responsible for the utilities, and others said $1,550, making the man responsible for all finances.
Now that I’ve brought you all up to date, lets get started. As mentioned earlier, there is no right or wrong answer. However, if you ask me, the man is responsible for ALL of the bills, including utilities. At least MY man will be. Notice I said, MINE. Not yours. If splitting the bills with your significant other is something that works for you, then kudos.
Your significant other is not your roommate, therefore household expenses should not be treated as if you’re living with one. I’ll be damned if my significant other asks me to move in but expects me to pay money. You mean to tell me you want me to cough up ass and money? I think not. Whether you’re married or not, you’ve made the decision to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend and shack up and play house, which now means you should act like it. I mean, you act like it in every other aspect, so why not treat the bills the same way? After hearing different people’s viewpoints, the real question is: Could the reason men today expect women to contribute to household expenses be because they lack a dominant trait OR are they simply not stable enough financially to provide? Because millennials are the poorest generation, we’re going to go with the second choice. I mean let’s face it, when has a man ever been known to be submissive in a relationship? The reality of it is, he cannot afford to provide as he is expected.
Many people confuse wanting a man to provide with being a gold digger. In 2017 can we stop with that assumption? Stop making women feel bad for wanting a man to provide. It is literally expected for the man to protect and provide. That is the role they play. Relationships and households are about give and take, as well as balancing one another out. The man provides, and as a woman, whatever your man lacks, you come through with. Nowadays, you’ll come across a man who can barely afford to make it on his own. Of course he’s going to complain about paying for everything. I mean, why wouldn’t he? Truth be told, men will flaunt like they have it, but when it’s time to pay, EVERYTHING is up for debate. That includes, but is not limited to rent, food, dates,etc. Trust me when I say this, if a man truly has it, he will take on the role as the provider with NO problems.
While reading comments under these posts I’ve come across some good counter arguments on why splitting the rent is considered in some relationships:
“We’re not married” — So why do you live together in the first place? The problem here is that everyone is so quick to lay up under someone and shack up, couldn’t be me. Honestly, truly.
“Millennials are our poorest generation, sharing the rent may be their only option”–Share the rent with your ROOMMATES, not your lover. I mean if you’re going to pay half the rent anyways, why not pay half the rent and have your OWN space? What sense does it make to split the rent but share the same space? None at all. I thought so.
“What about same-sex couples? The provider role isn’t designated to someone based on their genitalia”– Ehh, you have a point there. Bills have no gender. Deciding who will pay the bills is something you must discuss with your significant other. I still stand by that rent shouldn’t be split.
Moral of the story is, don’t bite off more than you can chew. If you’re going to play house, be ready to take on the responsibilities of playing house. The only time I condone to splitting bills with your significant other is if you guys are in a roommate situation, meaning you’re living with other people as well. And in THAT case, everyone in the house should pay equal. And even in that case, you still shouldn’t be playing house if you need other roommates. If paying all the bills is something you cannot afford, shacking up should be the least of your concerns. Stop making excuses for not having it. Get focused and turn your hustle up.