Decoding the Talking Stage: Talking vs. Dating

Last week I gave y’all a more intimate feel, as it was my first post of the new year. I thought I’d open up a little bit and let my readers get to know me on a more personal level, but today?!?

Today, I’m giving y’all that SHIT.

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This discussion is long over due, a conversation y’all not ready to have, but we gone have it anyways because quite frankly, I’m fucking tired. Sick and tired of seeing you childish motherfuckers trying to decode the ‘talking’ stage like the shit is even real and worthy of being decoded in the first place.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but get a fucking grip. The ‘talking/pre-date’ stage you all obsess over isn’t real. It’s an illusion, made up, FAKE. Almost as fake as your daddy side of the family but not quite there. Cause lets be honest, ain’t nothing or no one faker than ya daddy family— but that’s a discussion for a different day.

‘T A L K I N G’

When two people are not exclusive with each other nor have established what they are as a couple, but have some sort of relationship.

Sounds like a fucking friendship to me, We’re talking, holding a conversation nothing more nothing less.

D A T I N G

when a man/woman goes out with another individual or many different people to configure compatibility. not having any clear commitment. it may be as short as a week or for many years. it is not a relationship

Now if you lack common sense, you probably read those definitions thinking “what is she talking about, they’re clearly two different things.”

It’s okay, I’m not judging you. ( I really am, but I’mma let you slide just this one time.)


Talking comes out of boredom. You want to pass some time so you engage in a conversation, it might be texting, talking on the phone or even a face time call. Usually it lasts a couple of weeks and then shit falls off when you get bored of being bored or have had enough of wasting time having pointless conversations with no plan to link up and go out.

A waste of fucking time.

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Now dating on the other hand, you’re putting in efforts to genuinely get to know someone, you’re taking them out doing things that mutually interest you. Going out, evaluating one another's suitability as a companion — whether it be short or long term.

And please don’t let anyone lie to you that dating is limited to only one person. Dating does not equate to a relationship, it’s not exclusivity. Not guaranteed exclusivity, anyway Exclusive dating without the title of a boyfriend/girlfriend is a scam. Don’t fall for that bullshit. Go on dates with as many people as you want, explore your options.

Capisce?
Many of y’all think talking means getting to know someone, figuring out if you like them enough to move to the next level, which for y’all is dating. You don’t want to go on a date with someone you don’t like or vibe with cause you’re afraid of wasting time, like you didn’t just waste the last three weeks of your life ‘talking’ to them without linking up.

Riddle me this, how the hell do you know if you like someone/if they’re worthy enough to go out with them if you’ve never hung out? How are you getting to know someone without going on a date? You fucking don’t.

I hope you bitches ain’t out here catching feelings off the strength of a small text conversation. Better yet I hope y’all not out here agreeing to house link ups instead of a real fucking outing. That’s y’all problem.

Do fucking better, bitch.

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You have to DATE to determine if you like someone or not. If you are hanging and going out with someone, enjoying their time/company you are dating. All that talking and ‘pre-dating’ nonsense is for the birds. You know who uses the term talking? CHILDREN. Little ass kids who aren’t old enough to date.

Imagine being grown as fuck walking around telling the world you and such and such ‘talk’

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about fucking what?!  Please let me know what it is y’all out here talking about? LET ME KNOW. I need answers. What kind of talks are y’all having?

People with poor communication skills use the word talking as a disguise to cover up the fact that they are poor communicators. Talking is a never ending cycle of wasted time that often leads to situationships because no one bothered to be adults and communicate making their intentions known from the jump— something that grown ups do as they start DATING.

There is no ‘thin line’ or grey area when it comes to distinguishing talking and dating. There is nothing to decode. Either we are FRIENDS, we’re DATING or we GO TOGETHER. In a serious, committed monogamous relationship.

Did you get that? Do I need to repeat myself for the morons in the back?

FRIENDS, DATING, OR A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP.

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Please , for the love of God, in 2019 delete the word talking out of your vocabulary when we’re discussing dating culture. We are entirely too old.

Alix Young